Here is a post about cultivating resilience from Christi-an (a therapist and long-time friend of The Branches).
Being queer while navigating the upsurge in hate has been a lot, to say the least. If you haven’t already, check in on your queer friends. Collectively, we’re feeling a lot of pain, grief, heartbreak, rage, and fear. Heavy stuff to live through while we continue to work, parent, study, and move through our days. For QTBIPOC folks, the impacts are compounded, adding to the burden of living in a culture that upholds white supremacy and racism as foundational parts of our society.
And to allies who don’t identify within the queer community but love us and are also fighting for a kinder and more inclusive world, it can bring up a lot of painful emotions to witness and feel the hate.
It’s not uncommon for exposure to hate to bring up or amplify some of the following:
– Increased stress or anxiety
– Overwhelming grief
– Physical pain or health issues
– Sleep Disruption
– Mental Health Struggles
– Reaching for harmful coping mechanisms
– Energy drain or fatigue
– Hypervigilance
– Impact on relationships
If you check one or more of these boxes, let it be a gentle reminder to carve out some time and space to offer yourself care. As a starting place, I wanted to share some of the practices I’m using both personally and professionally (as a therapist and mindful movement coach). I propose them not in place of collective care, systemic change or activism, but as things we can do to grow in resiliency as we build a brighter future. I hope they might be helpful in these tender times.
Acknowledgment:
Notice the impacts of the words, images, and experiences you have taken in. A common coping strategy is to minimize the impacts or numb ourselves to our feelings. Take a moment to recognize the feelings that have come up for you and honour how difficult it is to be exposed to hatred. Building awareness around what is coming up for us is the first step in identifying what we need to take care of ourselves.
Compassion:
Continually having to fight for our rights, dignity, and well-being is exhausting and depleting on many levels. Try the following compassion practice as if it were a way of giving yourself the biggest hug. Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down and place your hands over your heart. Breathe into your hands. Feel the weight and temperature of your hands. Offer yourself kindness, understanding, and love. Invite yourself to fully receive this offering to self. Repeat often.
Scan Your Body:
No doubt your body will respond to these intense moments. Personally, I’ve noticed a lot of uneasiness as I go about my day, whether it be picking up my kiddo from daycare, at the park or at my local coffee shop. The persistent question looms in my mind: Could the person beside me be someone opposing my very existence, someone who stood on the opposing side during recent protests? I observe my body physically contracting—my jaw tightening, shoulders hunching, and my head instinctively lowering, a primal response to shield myself from potential harm or expose myself to more hostility.
What do you notice? Pay attention to any tension, discomfort, or changes in your body. This self-awareness is helpful in interrupting the physical impacts of stress.
Move and Breathe:
Engage in physical movement practices and intentional breathing exercises to release the tension and stress in your body. Movement and breathwork can help in shifting and loosening any physical patterns of stress or discomfort, promoting relaxation and release. Yoga is great because it focuses on both movement and breath, allowing you to mindfully address the stress in your body. But it could also look like going for a walk, being in nature, running, climbing, or playing sports with your friends. Ask your body what it needs and give it a try.
Be with Community:
There is deep relief that comes from sharing space with folks who understand what it’s like to carry both the stress and gratitude of your identity. Engage with your community (whether it’s online or offline) to find solace and understanding among like-minded individuals. Being in a community that shares similar experiences and concerns can offer comfort, validation, and a sense of unity. This is why I feel passionate about the need for nourishing affinity spaces like the Rainbow Restorative (2SLGBTQIA+ exclusive space) and Restorative Yoga: Rest for Racialized Folks (BIR exclusive space) offered here at The Branches. Allies: talk to each other. These challenges are big, and no one is meant to figure them out on their own.
Seek Support:
Reach out to mental health professionals, therapists, or support groups that can help you unpack and process what’s come up for you*. Seeking professional help allows for a deeper exploration of your trauma, emotions, mental state and coping mechanisms in a supportive and constructive environment. We weren’t meant to heal on our own; we are communal beings.
*If this type of support feels cost-prohibitive for you, check out Camino Wellbeing + Mental Health for subsidized, sliding-scale (including no-cost) counselling and group programs.
Reach Out and Offer Support:
If you are feeling okay, offer your extra energy, time, and resources to someone who might need it. Cook them dinner, offer to take a task off their to-do list, do a self-care practice like meditating in solidarity with them, or go for a walk with them. Ask them what they need. Someone who can affirm what you went through was crappy? A hug? Someone to laugh with and get their mind off things? Everyone is different, so it’s okay to ask. If they’re not sure, you can provide a few options.
Offer Yourself Affirmations:
Counter the hate with lots of self-love. Here’s an affirmation to try (but feel free to tweak it to honour your unique fabulousness).
May I be free to be me.
May I feel my inherent worthiness.
May I feel loved.
May I feel safe and protected.
May I shine.
May I thrive.
Then share it with the world.
May we all be free to be ourselves.
May we all feel our inherent worthiness.
May we all feel loved.
May we all feel safe and protected.
May we all shine.
May we all thrive.
I encourage you to try one of the suggestions that resonate with you. Start there and see where it leads you. Let’s take care of ourselves and each other.
You can learn more about Christi-an and her work here.
The Branches 